The Doodlebops...

I can't wait till the Doodlebops are in NYC. M is sitting in the sling as I'm sitting here typing. This is the first time this kid has ever been this quiet. I didn't get pictures of the Doodlebops last week, I not only did not think of it till it was too late, but I forgot the camera. I will get them when we go their concert, whenver that is going to be.

Right now, K is sleeping and I wish I could sleep too since jackass woke me up at 7:30am, but I can't cause the little one is awake. This sucks. It doesn't help that my period is here and I have a bad backache. Martin said he was going to come over tonight. This will be funny. He is bringing over some cash he owes us. my MIL was here yesturday and of course brought some junk over which I plan to sell on ebay.

Off till later for now...

Pissed off!

I AM PISSED Right now! It's 12:36am and K is AWAKE cause jackass put her to bed at 7PM! Then, Martin said he needed me to help him with something on his phone and then was going to help me organize some stuff in the Kitchen in the morning and because K woke up, now he won't do it and just got up and left. He's such an asshole. I've had it with him. He was trying to tell me what to do in terms of jackass. I am so annoyed right now. I think it's so wrong. Then he said he was going to come back on Tuesday and help and I'm telling him, I won't be here on Tuesday. The point was for him to come today and help me. For me, Tuesday is too late. MIL will be here on Wednesday. I'm at the point where I don't want Martin over anymore. I'm tired of the bullshit and of him just showing up when he needs our help. I HATE people like that. It reminds me of someone else I know, but anyway.


So it's almost 1am, and K and I are watching the Wiggles. Doesn't that sound like fun? Yea right. UGHHHHHHHHHHH I wanna punch something right now. Hot Potato, Hot Potato, Cold Spaghetti, Cold Spaghetti, Squashed Banana, Squashed Banana...Dammit, I'm gonna be dreaming about the Wiggles now. CALGON...TAKE ME AWAY!!!

Oh yea, I forgot to add, part of the reason K woke up was Martin's fault cause after I asked him to be quiet walking in, he still continued talking to his so called girlfriend, or booty call, and then he made noise by moving the folding table. I swear MEN are so stupid sometimes. I can't wait to tell jackass how I don't want asshole here anymore as long as I'm still living here.

Western Easter and more...

So today was the Western Easter and Palm Sunday for me. It was a beautiful day out there though. K had a wonderful time playing outside. Martin called tonight and needs me to download some stuff for him tonight. The man only calls nowadays when he needs something, so I officially decided that tomorrow, I'm going to put him into use. He is going to help me get some things done in my kitchen.

I told him how I'm taking a seperation from jackass while K is away, and he started lecturing me. Whatever...who the fuck is he to tell me what I can and cannot do. UGH MEN! I'm so sick with a bad cold it's not even funny. I took some extra strenghth sudafed and it's helped alot. I have some easter shopping to do this week. I also bought this tea that is suppose to help you loose weight. Forget the diet pills and stuff, I'm using herbs. I gotta do what I gotta do.

I have such bad backpain lately, it's not even funny. I hate being sick with a passion. I forgot K's Elmo chair at my moms and I'm pissed. At least she is going to bring it here on Tuesday. I didn't tell you the best part. My brother got two tickets this weekend for "dangerous driving" and "reckless driving" with $90 fines on each AND he has to appear in court which means they might take his license away! HAHA!!!! That's what he gets for driving the way he does and for always trying to show off. My parents NEVER got me a car, and all of a sudden my 17 year old brother has one! THAT IS BULLSHIT!!!

Anyway,

I'm off to take a shower....till next time...

Eh....A few thoughts...

So yesturday we took K and M to the circus, and the Doodlebops were guest starring afterwards. K tried to climb up on the stage and it was funny. Right now, my house looks like a Tornado hit it, my mom is taking K for the weekend so I can get this place in tip top shape. We're all sick with colds. Jackass is still being jackass. Right now both of them are napping and I just finished having lunch while talking to a prospective client. I'm so excited!

I'm pissed off at Amazon.com though, cause I ordered some toilet bowl cleaner and it never showed up. When I called them, they told me that it was Delivered to Irving Texas, and I'm like yea, where it originated from. So the girl was nice and will have a new box re-delivered overnight, so I should have it tomorrow. What pissed me off about the whole thing is that I ordered this stuff on March 28th and should have had it by April 7th at the latest.

Anyway, things are ok today except I'm all alone with the kids. I could use some company though. I need to wash my dishes and right now I'm feeling too tired to.

Till Next time...

I have sooo had enough today!!

M has not stopped all day today, if he's not crying for one thing, it's another. K didn't even want to take a nap today. It's 1am and he's screaming his head off for no reason at all. I wish my family can understand me and understand what PPD is cause right now I feel like killing someone. Now both kids are awake and I can't handle this right now. I feel like I'm gonna hurt someone. I've had enough today. I didn't even nap when they were cause they didn't even nap for long and I had a few things to take care of. I'm so pissed off right now I could punch something. Then I am low on bottled water for the baby, and the swing died and we have no batteries for it. Well everyone I called to help me out, could not and I'm so annoyed cause I do everything for everyone else, and the one time I asked for something, No one can do it!

I am so pissed right now, cause I even called Martin and he never called back and I just find that so wrong. If he calls me tomorrow I'm gonna yell at him and basically tell him to Fuck Off cause I've had enough of everyone's bullshit. If K wakes up again, I'm gonna let her sleep in my room with me. Worst part of tonight is that jackass won't be home till late cause he has to take a test in the morning! UGH!!! I could just SCREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!

I'm gonna kill him....

I'm gonna kill him myself!!!! I normally budget the money around here and the bastard took out $480 from our account, claiming it was for the rent AND HE SPENT OVER $200 OF IT! Supposidly on Cabs! So now I have to take money out of K's account in order to cover the rest of the rent! This is sooo rediculous!! He doesn't know that in two weeks when he gets paid again, I'm taking that money back cause I've had enough! WTF????

I want to cry right now, I can't handle him anymore. Last night he didn't even say goodnight or kiss me or anything. Why is he being like this to me??? He's such an asshole! I feel so alone right now, I just want to go hide somewhere and cry. Either that or I want to beat the shit out of him. He really needs a reality check. I feel like he's trying to take money away from me and that's why he's doing it. Stupid asshole. UGH!!! I am so done with him, it's not even funny. Breathe...a few more weeks to go...deep breath. SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!!!

I can't take it anymore

I can't take the preassure everyone puts me under, especially my grandmother. She acts like I should know it all and if jackass does something, it seems to always be my fault. This time, one of the kids cough medications fell off from the top of the fridge and he put it on the stove, so she started yelling at me about it. WTF??? I'm at the point of tears. I just can't take it anymore. I wish that my family could just understand where I'm coming from too. I don't feel well, not only cause of the problems with my back, but I'm still dealing with Post Partum Depression. I can't find my meds, which seem to be MIA. I'm gonna talk to Dr. L tomorrow.

I've just been under so much preassure and so much stress, it's not even funny. Everyone counts on me for everything. I sooo need a vacation. I think I might take one soon. K and I are going to see Ringling Brother's on the 12th and the Doodlebops are guest starring during the aftershow. It will be fun for her, I think. I feel so tired tonight, but can't sleep..still got a few things to do and I have a lot on my mind. I got tickets to a yankee game and can't wait. I wish I could just go somewhere and get away from everything and everyone. I can't wait to hit the beack this summer!

Almost Lost it...

Tonight I almost lost it. M was driving me nuts, I mean he would not stop ALL DAY! Jackass was no help either, he decided to go to the DMV today of all days. I'm under so much stress and so much anxiety lately. I'm dress hunting, I have a conference and a meeting this weekend that's coming up. Next week is Charlotte's Birthday party. I can't find my meds. I have no idea where they ended up. My house needs to be cleaned. The mother's helper did not show up today. I am so pissed about that cause she did not even bother to call. I just wish I could run away from this hell whole and not come back. Of course, I don't mean leave the kids, I'll take them with me. I just want to leave jackass. The other night I told him I loved him and he took a while to say it back. BASTARD!

I'm debating on watching a movie tonight, but not sure if I want to. I have to call C back later. I saw Ice Age 2 the other night and it was really good. I have dishes to do too. Dammit. I need a dishwasher. I told Amanda to get me a chasity belt after the divorce. LOL I sure as hell don't want any surprises, especially while I'm dating someone. I won't have sex again till I get married again...someday.

Good news is, I'm going back to the Gym. I'm going to become a member at one of the best Gyms around so it will be great! They have pools! YAY!! I can't wait to go swimming and while K is away, I will be taking M with me there! WOO HOO!! I guess that's all for today...

Till Next time...