UGH!!!

Last night jackass kept me up till 2am cause he wanted to have sex, but had me fooling around with him for almost 3 hours. I was so mad and so exhausted today! The kids drove me nuts. The Mother's Helper came today and THANK GOD for her! I don't know what I would have done! K spilled syrup all over the floor and made a sticky mess just as she got here, so I changed her while J took care of M and then cleaned up the huge mess.

Then tonight, Martin calls and starts asking about some stupid shit on his phone. He calls me at midnight to ask me that! He was lucky I was up cause I was watching Monster-In-Law, otherwise I was soo pissed about it! I was like WTF?? I'm going to my moms for the weekend but I'll still check in. I feel like sleeping on the couch tonight, I don't even want to be around jackass anymore. I'm tired of all the Bullshit that surrounds him. I gotta put some stuff through the shredder tonight. Then I gotta figure out where to put it so that K can't get to it. I'm going to bed....

Till Next time...

CLEANING!!!

So, K is away for the weekend, so I'm spending my day cleaning. I decided to take a break. Earlier, jackass wanted to have sex so we did and well, I felt NOTHING! I mean absolutely nothing. I cried after having sex with him. I felt horrible. He may be the father of my kids, but I don't love him anymore. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my kids, but not their Daddy anymore.


I'm at that point where I want to move on right now, but I really want the baptism to pass. Plus, I don't know where I would go. Should I make him leave? But how will I pay the rent? Bussiness is slow. I'm not getting as many clients as I thought I would by now. It sucks to be in a situation like this, ya know what I mean? I'm eating Almonds and drinking some Lemon Ginger Echinacea Juice. At least my bathroom is done and most of the garbage is out. I asked jackass to take out at least diapers yesturday and he didn't do squat.

My grandmother is trying to tell me that I should just step back, ignore him and whatever happens, happens. I'm like Noooo....I can't deal with this for the rest of my life. I think we just need a seperation. I'm planning to take that seperation before the summer. I should go look for a spycam and see how much it would cost to have one or two around the house for while I'm gone. HAHA

So I finally...

So I finally got the check from that post partum client from a few weeks ago. It's about damn time! Some people LOVE to take advantage of people and this lady was no exception. The mail came and I have court next month for the accident I had a few years ago from when I injured my back. Time to get a babysitter. I have barely slept all night. Something weird is going on with me. Last night I was dreaming that I was biting Jackass and K was sleeping in my bed with me and I ended up biting her in my sleep. I don't know what the hell is going on, but lately I've been sleep walking and shit. It's probably the overtiredness and the fact that I'm just plain old exhausted.

Tomorrow we are having lunch with M's godparents. Jackass is still going on about how we should not be paying to take them out to lunch but they should be taking us out to lunch. Whatever. His family has no stability or anything of that nature and that's why he doesn't understand things. I spoke to my best friend T last night. It looks like her and her hubby are officially getting a divorce. They've been together since Sophomore year in high school so it is sad to see them break up, but shit happens.

I'm at that point where although I do regret getting married young, I don't regret my kids. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me, especially K. As I sit here, I'm looking at a picture that T, C and I took wayyy back in the day, in Junior High. LOL I just found the one that we got so drunk off our asses that we were using mascara as face paint. OMG!! ROFLMAO!! Those were the good old days. I would go back to those days in a heartbeat. I wanted to hang out with A this weekend but he's in DR for a week. It sucks. Last night I called Martin to come by and his lame ass excuse was that he was going to his girlfriend's house and couldn't come by. I only needed him to pull the back wheels off the damn stroller and someone to talk to for a little bit. I was feeling really down in the dumps. I found out that Franny is pregnant and due November 2nd. It would be funny if she had the baby on M's birthday cause then three kids would be born on the same day three years in a row.

Till next time...

Today's been one of those days....

So I sold a stroller on ebay, and spent half the day looking for the booklet so I can take off the wheels and put it in the box and now I can't get the back wheels off. Hubby (who will now be known as jackass) was suppose to have tonight off to help me with some things, but instead decided to work. My back is killing me to the point that I have moments that I feel that I can't move. It seems like jackass doesn't give two shits.

I'm at that point of nearly having a nervous breakdown. I want jackass to act more like a father and not just some guy who comes into the house, plays with the kids for an hour, goes to sleep, and then says Hi and Bye before leaving for work. He's suppose to be their Daddy, NOT their roomate. I also want him to stop thinking of me like his mother and DO some things around here...yea like that will ever happen. It's 11:15pm, I want dinner right about now, but not sure about what to have, maybe some chicken and a sweet potatoe. I spent most of my evening crying and fighting with him tonight.

It made me realize a few things too. Although I do love him, I'm not "in love" with him anymore. I'm not sure how to explain it. I just got some bad heartburn...damn that sucks. He treats me like shit but doesn't realize that those two kids came out of my womb, yea, we created them cause of my eggs and his seed, but come on now. Had I not given birth to them, they wouldn't be here and the sperm meeting the egg is so much easier than pushing a kid out or having major abdominal surgery to get one out. I feel like shoving my fist up his ass and then making him see what it's like when something the size of a watermelon comes out of your private parts.

Oh yea, and the other night I got back from Kinko's and was pretty busy over here...I gotta tell you about that shit too. Until next time...

It's only just the beggining...

So this morning I started working on breakfast and well everything in the book went wrong. I was making breakfast for hubby when the Fresh Direct guy showed up and I had to run out to get the food so I burned the bacon. Then I started making waffles for me and K and the waffle batter came out of the waffle maker and looked all disgrunted and well....a huge mess. Then I started making pancakes and at first they were both stuck together and then when I went to turn them they got all ruined. So my hubby and K ate breakfast this morning and I have had is a small piece of pancake and some Lemon Ginger Echinacea Juice....

Now I'm off to Kinko's....There will be more later..

How can someone do this to their child????

Last week a friend of a friend's daughter who was 2 was raped and injured to the point where she needed a hysterectomy. The situation is very sad, but tonight I found out that not only the mother's boyfriend did this, but apparently the mother did this with an object.

What kind of sick twisted person could rape their own child??? What the hell is wrong with people?? Especially a MOTHER!! OMG I Could kill someone tonight. I hope this mother is burned in hell!! That is just so wrong!! That was your baby! How could someone do this shit??? OMG I'm crying again!

Day from Hell...need I say more?

So today turned out to be one of those days. I've gotten no break. I worked for a client last week and she is trying to screw me over. My hubby is an asshole. I was trying to feed K and he was eating coacoa puffs in front of her and then she didn't want to eat her food. I got stuck giving her a yogurt. Then he let M cry. You would have thought that someone was killing the kid. Damn..WTF is wrong with men?

I haven't showered, I need sleep and I can't sleep. I'm at the point where I need a vacation but I don't want to take any of them with me. I just want some time to myself. My shrink says that I need it too. Haha....Like that will ever happen? I was going to take the brats out today and it rained. Then I spent all day waiting for UPS and Fed Ex cause I knew I had packages coming. I asked hubby to get some papertowels from by the window and I have a box there so K doesn't get herself into things and learn how to hide back there and what does he do? He doesn't put the damn thing back so now my daughter has discovered how to get into more mischief. Great!

One day I am going to leave the scumbag, I swear. He won't see the shrink with me and doesn't realize that I am trying to save our marriage. He thinks that we can "do it on our own". It's 10:30pm, my kid keeps whining and won't go to bed already. I haven't eaten dinner yet, and the bastard decided that he was going to work tonight when he knew how tired I was. Damn....Men are so ignorant. I don't think any man wants to read my blog right now. LOL I am so done with my hubby though it's not even funny. Why couldn't I just have married a man who won't cheat, will respect and will actually BE A DADDY! Blah....Gotta go now...a kid is calling me...

I LOVE THIS IMAGE LOL!!! It makes me crack up everytime I see it...just wanted to share LOL

Why I created this blog...

This blog was created to let out all the frustrations and anger that I have to deal with daily. Whether it's cause of my husband, kids, family..whatever...I just need a place to keep myself sane if y'all know what I mean. Well anyway, today has been one of those days..I told hubby to feed the baby while I finished taking care of some things and it seems like the all the stupid asshole wants to do is ignore me. I asked him to feed M and he will feed him half is bottle and then go to sleep causing him to cry. The othernight i told jackass that I needed a break. Today he told me he needed a break, so I turned around and said to him, when do I get a break? I asked him to come see the damn shrink with me and he refuses to. WTF?

My poor shrink..the last few times all I've been doing is telling her about my psychotic husband and his obsession with hypnosis. It seems like the stupid fuck just doesn't want to give it up. That's ok though. Some day he will learn. Life's ramblings is what this is about, so shit may not be in the same order, but it's like a journal. haha I was put on a higher dose med, higher than celexa. Let's see if that brings me back some of sanity, but like Dr. L said, I got a lot on my plate right now. Sometimes I just want to kill the bastard. We have two beautiful children and all the asshole does is fuck around with whoever and whatever. Maybe he will one day realize the mistakes he made, but then it will be too late. I plan to get away at some point, but don't know exactly when. Who the hell knows? I know the world is coming to an end soon.

For now, I will leave you at that....I'm expecting some packages today and they will hopefully be here soon....