Not sure where to start...

So the last few months have been extremely crazy.  I've been dealing with being in pain nearly 24/7 unless I'm on pain meds, to court, the kids, and life.  I mean, I really don't even know where to begin. 

As you know, I had a hard time with my cycles and they are normalizing for the first time in a long time, and the crazy part is that I didn't even do anything to them. They just regulated on their own.  Court has been a little crazy.  The kids get to see their dad on supervised visits with supervision by their uncle, after he tried to play it off like my grandmother could no longer supervise the visits just because she fell (she tripped) holding M's hand and they both fell, and so he said that she "can't handle them".  He's such a douchebag.  Seriously.  

The kids are doing well.  Both were in school, until Welfare screwed up and stopped paying M's school because they made a mistake on some stuff.  So now, he's out of school until they start paying again and until I find a new school for him since he lost his spot at school.  K is doing extremely well in school and is having a blast doing it. LOL!

I'm still apartment hunting, and I pray to god I find something over the next two weeks.  I need to just get out of here.  This place is getting crazy.  As you know, I had to get a roomate to be able to afford this place, but even now with some things going on, I don't know how much longer I can deal with this stuff.  

Aside from all this stuff, emotionally, I'm not doing so great.  I'm really becoming affected by the whole break up.  I miss having a companion, someone to talk to. I miss having a good relationship, even though I haven't had a really GOOD relationship in 8 years.  Some days, I just want to be able to cuddle and watch a movie, without having to worry that this may be the last time I'll ever be able to do this again.   On top of everything, some bad news hit the fan last week and I thought that someone near and dear to my heart was going to leave this world forever, but for some reason, she's clinging on and so I know that there's a purpose for it.  

I guess I'm just emotionally distraught.  I'm confused.  I don't really know what my purpose is here and where I wanna go.  I just know that at this point, I'm being pulled in various different directions and it's all for good reasons.  Different opportunities are opening up for me and I have no idea how to handle it or what to do about it.  I wish that someone can give me a sign telling me that this is where I need to be and this is what I need to do.  I know that with everything you do in life, there comes risks, good ones and bad ones, but at this point, I'm questioning what direction my life should head.  Both paths have good and bad, both paths lead me to one of my two career goals and I don't know which way to really go.  

On another note: 

Last night, my daughter said to me "Mommy, Can I take my camera with me when I go to XYZ?" and I said to her, Of course you can.  Then we saw a baby on the train, and she began to ask questions about where babies come from.  At one point, she got up, and said, "Wait Mommy, I know how they are born, (she started to make some noises, squatted down) a mommy just pushes the baby out just like that and there's a baby. But what I'm asking is how do they get in their mommy's belly".   I tried brushing it off like I couldn't talk about it right now, because we were on the train, but she said, "Well, Giagia told me where they come from.  She said when a mommy and daddy love each other, they make a baby. Is that true?"  And I said YES! LOL!  But it got me thinking that if this is all coming from my 4 year old daughter, then I'm in big trouble.  My kid is a lot like her mother and well.....I know that this is only the beggining and the questions have just begun.....