So i guess it's really over...

I talked to jackass today. I asked him about the marriage counseling and once again he said No. I've been crying on and off all day, nothing has gone right and I'm just about to have a nervous breakdown. I'm going to talk to a lawyer on Thursday. I see my shrink tomororw so I will fill her in on what's going on.

I am so done with him. I had such a great weekend and he called me at 10am this morning and completely fucked up my good mood. I was pissed! I've been upset, pissed and all I want to do is sleep ALL DAY! UGHHHHHHH!!! I wish I could snap my fingers and all of this could just go away :(

Stupid, Stupid SOB

So, he's still cheating. I found proof today in my house. I went by the house to pick up and mail and stuff and I found pantyhouse on the floor of my room. IT wasn't there when I was here the other day. UGH! He's such a stupid SOB and I am soooo done with him!

I am very pissed right now. The house looks like a tornado hit it and he didn't make ANY effort to change. He is soo lucky he is not here right now, cause I so want to hurt him! I'm glad I came here today. I had a "feeling" when I came in that something had gone on or that I would find something and I did. I'm a little glad that I found it, it just gives me more reason to just up leave. MEN!!

Boring when it comes to sex....

So if you haven't heard the latest fiasco, I'm boring when it comes to sex, or at least that's how jackass feels about it. That's why he does the things he does. Ok. Whatever. Last night he made me cry, I was up till almost 3 am bawling my eyes out, and then another hour talking to Desi Arnez (my best friend) to calm me down. It was great though. He told me in the end I was the best and not to pay any mind to what jackass does to hurt me.

So I'm on limited sleep, don't feel like doing much of anything today. I am tired. I am tired of his bullshit, being hurt and him acting like he has done nothing wrong. He is trying to play the blame game and blame everything on me. Last night he said to me that if I have found someone else, then to go ahead and move on. I think he thinks there is something going on between me and Desi. Whatever. What an ass.

So then he got, well I don't know, jelous, mad, whatever, who cars? that on Saturday, I'm picking up Desi from the airport, and then Sunday we are going to the beach if the weather permits it. I don't care what he thinks. It took him A WEEK to come and see M when it should not have. I'm an emotional mess today. I'm off for the day...ciao.

So...um....yea

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies!

So Um yea, mine wasn't very happy. I got to spend it with me, myself, and I, oh yea and M, but he's a baby so you know, not much you can do with just him. I feel like a single mom lately. Although I went out and bought myself a nice Mother's Day gift/Birthday and Anniversary, since jackass didn't get me anything. I got a Digital SLR Camera. YAY!

So we spent Friday night together in a Hotel Room, just us, my mom took M. I didn't get to the room till almost 9pm and checkout was at 11am, so we hardly spent any time together, cause of course we needed to sleep, but did he care? NO!

He lost his cellphone on Friday too! But that's a whole other story. The baptism went great! Everyone had a goodtime. I'm planning to go back to school, either next year or the one after. It's pretty chilly here tonight. BRRRR....I wish it would warm up already.

Well....I gotta run....Till next time....Ciao!

It's been a while....

It's been a few days since I posted. Yesturday at the passport office was hell. If I could have, I would have killed the security guard who got on my case for bringing in food for my DAUGHTER who is still pretty much a baby!


Then jackass hasn't showered in forever and he smells and although I Tell him that, he doesn't seem to care and I'm completely disgusted! I found out that R is coming into the city next week, so we are planning to hang out and go out for his birthday. YAY! I also never realized what a passion he had for childbirth. It's so amazing! Lisa says that I moved on a long time ago, and I think I'm beggining to agree. As of Monday, I won't be home, for at least 6 weeks.

Right now, M is sitting in the exersaucer playing and he is too cute! I just had a Healthy Choice frozen dinner for lunch, it was called Princess Chicken and it was really good. The past few days have been very hectic in preparation for the M's Baptism. I can't wait! We are going to have such a good time!

I guess I might update more later...gotta run now!