CLEANING!!!

So, K is away for the weekend, so I'm spending my day cleaning. I decided to take a break. Earlier, jackass wanted to have sex so we did and well, I felt NOTHING! I mean absolutely nothing. I cried after having sex with him. I felt horrible. He may be the father of my kids, but I don't love him anymore. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my kids, but not their Daddy anymore.


I'm at that point where I want to move on right now, but I really want the baptism to pass. Plus, I don't know where I would go. Should I make him leave? But how will I pay the rent? Bussiness is slow. I'm not getting as many clients as I thought I would by now. It sucks to be in a situation like this, ya know what I mean? I'm eating Almonds and drinking some Lemon Ginger Echinacea Juice. At least my bathroom is done and most of the garbage is out. I asked jackass to take out at least diapers yesturday and he didn't do squat.

My grandmother is trying to tell me that I should just step back, ignore him and whatever happens, happens. I'm like Noooo....I can't deal with this for the rest of my life. I think we just need a seperation. I'm planning to take that seperation before the summer. I should go look for a spycam and see how much it would cost to have one or two around the house for while I'm gone. HAHA