More Recent crapola

I've been staying at my moms since I hurt my foot. My mom is blaming me and saying that it's my fault that he ever cheated on me because I would stay here on occasion. That's just a load of crap. She thinks that I should just go back and stay with him. She doesn't think I can do it on my own and started blabbing that "Your father did some shit too, but I still stuck around".

It's not only about the asshole cheating, it's everything. The hypnosis stuff, the trance stuff, him choking me for his pleasure. I've had enough. I'm not into that kind of stuff. I've had a lot of health things going on as well. I have endometrial hyperplasia which means I'm not producing enough progesterone and the type of cells that they are, are precancerous cells. I have to keep an eye on it. I'm currently taking progesterone for it.

My mom keeps babbling that "getting married, having kids, and getting divorced is the new style." I'm tired of hearing this shit. I'm ready to just break down and cry. At a time where they should be supporting me and helping me, they are freaking out. I am just tired of it. I am so thankful to the women of ICAN. They have helped me through a lot. They have helped me through having my VBAC, through all this marriage crap, and through any health stuff I have going on. I have just about had enough. I just want to go somewhere and get away from all of this stuff. This is why I don't want to live here. I don't want to hear the nagging, or the bullshit about why I should be staying with my husband. The man who needs to act like he's choking me or hurting me in order to get pleasure out of it.

Now she's starting with me about the night I went out after my high school reunion, where we went out to this club/bar place. It's the first time in 4 years that I've been to a place like that. My mother is acting like I do this all the time! WTF????? I am about to have a fucking breakdown right now and I've just about had enough. I mean give me a fucking break. Our generations are different, I am not going to sit around and take this abuse. I am not going to sit around and let him treat me like shit, and then go out with his friends and ride the subways all day. My mom is complaining that I have two kids and I've been leaving them with her or my grandmother lately for one thing or another, but at least I take care of them unlike him. He comes here and he doesn't even change a diaper when he comes here. This is bullshit. I better stop because at this point, I can just go on and on.